Streamlined
by ContemplativeCkik
Summary: "I can't talk to her she's way too cool. She'd probably eat me alive, and not in a kinky way either, just in a dying way." "She's really not as scary as you think she is. She's also not as cool. She's actually sort of a dweeb." "You're definitely just saying that, but whatever." NSFW UmiNico Punk Band/College AU oneshot
"What are you reading, Nico?"

Nico looked up from the thin magazine in her hands at her light-haired underclassman. She showed the cover of the magazine to her, which sported bold text and a picture of three girls in matching white leather jackets. The other girl nodded slightly as she sat down across from Nico at the food court table. "There was an interview with _Streamlined_ in this month's issue because they're playing at the indie arts festival in a few weeks. Sonoda actually answered some questions this time, which is super unlike her, but I guess it's because it's a really big event," she explained.

"You know her name is Umi, right?"

"Well yeah, but you know her personally, Kotori. I don't, so it's different. But either way this is a really big-"

"I could introduce you to her if you'd like," Kotori offered. "Aren't they playing at that bar near your apartment this Friday?"

"Yeah and I'm totally going. Because I go to all of their shows. But I can't talk to her she's way too cool. She'd probably eat me alive, and not in a kinky way either, just in a dying way," she said.

"She's really not as scary as you think she is," Kotori said, sighing and brushing a lock of light brown hair behind her ear as she took a sip of her soda. "She's also not as cool. She's actually sort of a dweeb."

"You're definitely just saying that, but whatever," Nico pouted, opening the magazine back up so she could continue reading about her favorite local band in peace. She considered herself their biggest fan, but specifically Umi's biggest fan.

Although Nico was studying fashion, she had always dreamed of starting a band, and when another group of girls from the University (well, one of them was from the local highschool at the time) had formed one she was eager to try and join them. _Maybe they could use a ukulele player_ , she had thought. So she attended their first show in some underclassman's backyard two semesters ago and fell in love with the band instantly. Their sound was unique and their chemistry was great. The vocalist knew how to win the crowd, and their drummer's freestyle fills were insanely intricate. And then there was the bassist, Sonoda Umi. She was tall and gorgeous and the best bass player to come out of the entire prefecture, probably. Since that backyard show last October, Nico has gone to all of their shows.

"You won't regret it, Nico. I promise!" 

* * *

"Remind me again why I brought you along?" Nico asked as she and Kotori walked through the door of the downtown bar, eyeing up the taller girl with a look of disgust on her face.

"Because you're too insecure to start conversations with people on your own?"

"Sh-shut up! Anyway, you look super out of place here. You don't fit in with the punk scene at all."

"I have no idea what you mean," Kotori smiled, while Nico glared judgmentally at the girl's Ugg boots.

"C'mon, they're about to start their mic checks. Honoka always tells a knock-knock when she tests her mic," Nico said, pulling Kotori to the floor, which was already pretty crowded.

"-ock. Knock-knock? Ooh it's on, okay. Knock-knock!"

"Who's there!" the crowd yelled back. Mostly Nico yelled.

"Cows go!" The ginger yelled back.

"Cows go who!"

"No, cows go moo, assholes! We're _Streamlined_! How are you guys doing tonight?"

The crowd cheered in response. The three girls on stage messed around with their instruments for a few minutes, tuning them and warming up. Honoka stepped up to the mic again and grabbed it dramatically. "Are you ready for our first song? Cause this is _We Don't Ever Stop Starting_!" 

* * *

Nico was totally surprised that Kotori actually knew most of the words to their songs, although it would've been much cooler if she had jumped in the mosh pit. Probably would've been a bad idea to mosh in a knee-length floral skirt and boots though.

The band had just finished up their encore song, _Beluga Whales On Sale_ , and the crowd was starting to filter out. A lot of them, Nico included usually, only came for the punk music and didn't stick around for when the DJ came back out and the club turned dancy. Nico felt herself being dragged by her arm up to the small stage.

"Hi, Honoka! Hi, Rin!" Kotori chirped, pulling Nico along behind her. "Umi, I have somebody who wants to meet you!"

"Kotori, you should have let us know you'd be coming," Umi said, surprised. Honoka rushed over to Kotori almost immediately and started talking loudly and directly into her face, and Rin was soon to follow.

"Umi, this is my friend Nico, she's your biggest fan! Okay, bye!" she said as then lead the two gingers over to the bar, while Rin weakly protested (Rin's too young to drink, nyaa…).

"Uh. Hi?" Nico said awkwardly, standing just below the stage with her hands shoved in the pockets of her hoodie.

"Nico, was it? It's nice to meet you," Umi said with a bow before stepping off the raised platform of the stage, her deep voiced tinged with an undertone that Nico couldn't quite place. _Nervousness? Confusion?_ Also, Nico noted that even on equal footing, Umi was still much taller than her. "So, biggest fan? Was she serious?"

"Yeah, I think you're, uh, really good and stuff."

"Oh, well uh," Umi blushed, and glanced away sheepishly. "Thank you, it means a lot to me. Although I'm really not that great..."

This was unexpected. Nico did not expect this.

"Are you kidding? You have way more talent than the other two combined! Your bass skills are wicked good. Not to mention you're like super cool and pretty and-"

"Oh shit _oh shit_ we have to pack up so the DJ can come in," Honoka interrupted, rushing back over to them and jumping onto the stage, almost sliding clear across it. She grabbed a heavily-blushing Umi by the arm and tugged until the bluenette followed her up. "Umi c'mon we gotta get our stuff back in the truck before they yell at me!"

"Don't worry, nyaa," Rin said to Nico as she walked over leisurely, her hands tucked behind her head in a way that suggested that she gave an amount of fucks exactly equal to zero. "We'll bring Umi right back and then you can talk a whoooole bunch." 

* * *

Nico sat down in a stool at the bar next to Kotori and quickly ordered a Screwdriver. "You know what Kotori, I didn't believe you but you were totally right. Sonoda is a giant dork."

"Right? She's super shy."

"And ya know what?" Nico spun her stool to her right so her entire person was facing Kotori while she gave her a stern look. "She's super fucking cute. I love her even more now."

Kotori sighed. "Nico, don't you think that's a little-"

"We're back, bitches! Did you miss us?" Honoka exclaimed, plopping down on the other side of Kotori and giving her a side-hug, while Umi sat down to Nico's left. "Rin had to go home because she's an infant. Let's get this party started, though!"

Nico rolled her eyes at Honoka's antics and swivelled back around on her barstool. She turned her head slightly to glance at Umi, but not too much, lest she get overwhelmed by taking in too much of the bluenette's existence at a time. The musician was sitting with her hands folded in her lap, kicking her feet awkwardly.

"Do you, uh, want me to buy you a drink or something?" Nico spoke up. "What do you like?" Umi shrugged in response, so Nico ordered a whiskey sour for each of them. About halfway through the small and also not terribly strong drink, Umi became much more talkative and also much more giggly. _What a lightweight_ , Nico mused, _it's kinda cute though._

"So, biggest fan, huh?" Umi asked, cheeks tinged pink, leaning her arms on the bar counter.

"You already asked me that, but yeah. I've gone to all your shows. Ever."

"I knew that already, actually. I've seen you at all of them, you're sort of hard to ignore," Umi said quietly, taking another small sip of her drink. "Why so dedicated, exactly?"

"Uh, well," Nico blushed, unsure how to answer. The rational part of her brain told her to keep her feelings on the down low, but the tipsy part of her brain didn't exactly agree. _Ah, fuck it._ "It's because of you, actually. I mean, the other two are good too, you're just way more good. I guess you could say I sort of, uh, look up to you? B-but not just because I'm short! I mean-!"

"Nico, that means a lot to me," Umi said between uncontrollable fits of giggling, which made her words seem a bit less sincere, but her message was still well understood. Nico pouted at the girl, eyes narrowed in the tiniest bit of annoyance until the giggling died down to normal (read: acceptable for a drunk girl) levels. Umi's drunken blush intensified rather suddenly, causing Nico to cock her head to the side in confusion, unsure what the bluenette was so embarrassed about. "To be honest, Nico, I-"

"Alright, who's up to get down!" Honoka interrupted her, clapping both of the dark-haired girls on their shoulders, causing Umi to jump in her seat like she'd thought Honoka was an axe-murdering clown sneaking up on her. Nico chuckled a little at that. "Get out here, you two, we have some dancing to do!"

Nico spoke up in protest first, scratching the back of her head. "Uh, ya know, I don't really- Wait, Sonoda, where are you going?" Umi was already getting up from her seat and attempting to pull Nico along weakly by the sleeve of her hoodie. "Seriously? Okay, gimme a second!" Nico said, downing the last few sips of her drink. In the time it took her to turn back around, Umi had left her jacket on her stool and was already wandering towards the floor after Honoka, who was dancing her way over a little too enthusiastically. Nico scrambled up from her seat to join the two musicians, stumbling into the swaying crowd. She saw a flash of blue out of the corner of her eye before Umi was in front of her, strong hands placed gently, testingly on Nico's hips while she moved to the bassy beat of the electronic music. Nico swayed awkwardly back and forth, not sure what to do with her hands.

"Sonoda, uh, I'm not really a dancing kind of person," she insisted weakly. On one hand, she felt out of place and silly in her chains and ripped jeans, but it was hard to find it in her to truly protest when the girl she'd been crushing on for a year was grinding on her like that.

"That's fine. I can change that," Umi said, just quiet enough that she almost didn't hear it over the noise of the dancefloor. Nico felt a shiver shake her, not sure if she should be nervous or scared or turned-on or all three. Those calloused hands were running up and down Nico's arms, pulling her in, gripping the hood of her sweatshirt and pulling her forward so her body was pressed up against Umi's. Nico almost didn't realize that Umi was kissing her, soft lips pressed roughly against her own, until the sensation was gone and she wanted nothing more than to feel it again. "Dance, Nico," she whispered, a suggestion that sounded so much like a command that Nico couldn't refuse. 

* * *

"Man, I love it when Umi's drunk. Drunk Umi is my favorite," Honoka said a little too loudly as the group exited the bar, Kotori included (Nico almost forgot that Kotori was there in the first place). The ginger grabbed Nico's hands and shook them excitedly. "I owe you one, dude. Umi never wants to dance when she's sober even though she's sooooo good. You two really tore it up!"

Nico chuckled awkwardly in response, Umi trailing a bit behind her, brows furrowed as she glared intently at the ground, determined not to trip. "To be fair, I never want to dance either. The show was great, though. I can't wait for you guys to play at the indie arts festival."

"I know, right! It's gonna be so cool, being up there on a big stage with actual big bands!" Honoka said, still too loud for what time of night it was. "Right, Umi?"

Umi mumbled something unintelligible in response.

"By the way, what are you guys doing after this?" Nico asked.

"I was just gonna go home. I don't really know what Umi's plan is."

"Neither do I," Umi muttered, earning a chuckle from Kotori (who Nico almost forget was there, _again_ ).

"How... _are_ you getting home anyway?"

"Uhhhh," Honoka stopped in her tracks, looking at Kotori with her signature puppy-dog eyes. "Kotori is gonna drive me home? Cause she loves me?"

"You're lucky that's true," the light-haired girl said with a small smile, patting Honoka on the head. They walked for another block or so before they parted ways, Kotori having to drag Honoka off to her car or else she'd forget to leave. "Nico, take good care of Umi, alright? I'll see you on Monday!"

Before Nico could reply, the two had disappeared, and she was left walking down the street towards her apartment with the drunk bluenette of her dreams grabbing at her sweatshirt sleeve. "So, do you wanna stay with me then, I guess?" she asked, feeling more than a little nervous.

"I'd like that a lot," Umi said quietly, gaze still glued to the sidewalk. When Nico stopped to open the gate in front of the stairwell, Umi didn't stop walking and walked directly into Nico, almost knocking them both into the wall.

"Jeez, you're gonna kill both of us," Nico scolded her jokingly, punching her lightly in the shoulder. When Umi grabbed onto Nico's arm firmly but not excessively hard, Nico looked up to see the taller girl leaning down towards her. Their lips met for the dozenth time that night before a blushing Nico pushed at Umi's shoulders, forcing her back slightly. "You couldn't wait til we got through the door at least?"

"I just…," Umi began, averting her eyes shyly. "I wanted to kiss you since earlier but I couldn't with the other two there."

Nico giggled a little as she ducked away from the bluenette and pushed the gate open. "You're kind of a baby, ya know," she said as she lead Umi by the hand up the metal stairs, slowly so the taller girl wouldn't lose her footing. Nico unlocked her front door and pushed it open with her shoulder, kicking off her shoes as she walked in. Umi followed in after and attempted to unlace her combat boots but to no avail. "Are you too drunk to untie your own shoes?"

"I'm not even that drunk," Umi said with a slight pout, sitting down on the floor. Nico sat down in front of her after shutting the door with a quiet 'click'. Nico untied the younger girl's boots for her and set them aside before pulling her in for another kiss, shorter than the others and just the slightest bit teasing.

"You're lucky I'm super in love with you, Sonoda," Nico muttered as she stood up and offered Umi a hand to help her up. The bluenette stumbled into Nico after getting back on her feet, almost knocking them over again. "And I'm lucky you probably won't remember that I said that."

"Nico, I'm really not even that drunk, I-"

"Well, it's pretty late. I'll sleep on the couch I guess," Nico said, unzipping her hoodie and tossing it on top of the TV. "You can- woah hey, what are you doing?" That pair of strong hands was on her again, picking her up by her sides like a toddler and carrying her over to the couch. Umi set the petite girl down gently before climbing on top of her carefully, kissing her again briefly before trailing her lips down the older girl's neck. Nico let out a short, muffled gasp when she felt Umi pull at the collar of her t-shirt and lay more kisses across her collarbone.

"Wait, hold on Sonoda, I don't think this is really-"

"That's kind of cold, don't you think?" Umi whispered, her warm breath brushing teasingly against Nico's neck. "You won't even call me by first name. How cruel."

"U-Umi," Nico whimpered, trying to keep her cool, which was proving hard since she had very little cool to begin with. "We really shouldn't, I mean-" She was interrupted by a small snore from the other girl.

"Oh my god, you're kidding right? Did you actually fall asleep? I know I said we shouldn't but I do actually want to!" Nico pushed at Umi's shoulders to get her attention, but the girl was complete dead weight; she was super asleep and Nico was super trapped. She glared up at the ceiling in complete disbelief, letting out a small, very frustrated whine before pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and half-heartedly placing it on top of them. 

* * *

Nico was awoken the next morning by her head hitting the concrete floor of her apartment. Actually all of her hit the floor. She fell off the couch. Umi was still snuggled up on it though, and Nico decided that she looked too cute to be mad at. Grabbing her sweatshirt from on top of the TV and shrugging it on, she wandered into the kitchen and started brewing some coffee. Coffee mug in hand, she waddled back out to the living room and sat down on the floor in front of the couch, flipping on the TV and leaning back against the torn-up sofa.

"Are you watching cartoons?"

"Good morning to you too," Nico said, sipping her coffee. "And yes."

Umi yawned and stretched her arms out, resting them lazily on Nico's shoulders. "So, um, I seem to be having a slight lapse in memory. Did we…?"

"No we didn't do anything. Your drunk ass fell asleep on top of me, though."

"That actually makes a lot more sense since that's the last thing I can recall. Sorry about that," Umi said sheepishly, nuzzling her face into the back of Nico's neck. "Do you want to, uh, would you like to… do something now, then?"

"Wait what?" Nico turned around to face her, putting her coffee mug down on the floor since she doesn't own a coffee table.

"I, uh- well, I think you're really cute, to put it simply; I like you a lot. I saw you at our first show and you caught my attention amongst the rest of the crowd. You showed up to every show, and I started looking forward to seeing you out there, but I wasn't sure why at the time. It's hard to explain, but I guess you could say that I'm as big a fan of you as you are of me. I've been trying to explain that to you since last night, actually. I thought I was being plainly obvious," she said, brushing midnight bangs back nervously. Nico stared at her in shock for a few moments before catching her lips in a sudden kiss, passionate and just a tiny bit desperate. She licked and sucked at Umi's bottom lip, the bluenette gasping gently into her mouth. Nico pulled away slightly and pressed her forehead against the other girl's.

"Sorry," Nico whispered. "I'm kind of an idiot."

"You are kind of an idiot. But that's okay; I'm kind of an idiot too," Umi replied with a small smile, sitting up and tossing the blanket she had been wrapped up in over Nico's head. She watched the smaller girl struggle under the blanket for a few seconds like a trapped kitten before she appeared to give up and slump over on the concrete floor. Umi stood up from the couch and carefully stepped around the pile of pink plaid fleece on the floor, leaning over it and gently pulling the top corner down to reveal a pouting Nico. She kissed the smaller girl again, trailing kisses across her jaw like she had the night before, but with slightly more deliberation and slightly less confidence. "I'll ask again; do you want to…?"

"Of course I do, dumbass," Nico whispered, shivering at the feeling of Umi's lips pressed so gently against her neck. Umi slid her hands up Nico's t-shirt, ran them shakily, nervously up her flat stomach. Nico let out a frustrated sigh, which was apparently not the noise Umi had expected to hear from her. She looked up to see Nico staring incredulously at her, cheeks puffed out a bit in annoyance. "You're not too good at this, huh?"

Umi appeared taken aback. "I-I'm not?"

Nico discarded her unzipped hoodie and sat up, pushing Umi's back against the front of the couch. She climbed into her lap, kissing her roughly, teeth grazing her bottom lip and earning a soft whine from the bluenette. "That's fine. I can change that," she said with a smug little grin, echoing Umi's words from the previous night at the bar. She pushed Umi's tank top up over her breasts, exposing the simple navy blue bra she was wearing. Umi whined again, this time clearly out of embarrassment.

She planted small kisses along Umi's chest, nipping gently at the exposed skin above her breasts and raking small hands down her sides. Umi's hips shook a little at the sensation of nails ghosting down her toned stomach, and Nico took that opportunity to grind her hips down against Umi's. Like she was trying to make it worse, prodding at Umi's self-control against the indescribable fire she felt spreading through her. Nico dragged her hands back upwards, sliding them under Umi's bra and palming at her soft breasts, earning a muffled gasp.

"Is it just me or is the floor getting less comfortable the longer we sit on it?" Nico said between light kisses to Umi's jawline. "Do you wanna move this somewhere else? Like my bed? Because it's way more comfortable, and definitely not because my room is less messy than out here."

Umi stood up, pulling Nico up with her and picking her up by her sides again. Nico pouted indignantly at being carried around like a toddler, but all of her thoughts were tossed to the side when Umi sat her down on the edge of the bed and pulled the smaller girl's t-shirt off over her head, tossing that aside as well. She pushed Nico onto her back and carefully crawled over her, amber eyes betraying every nervous thought in her mind. Seeing this, Nico reached up and snaked her arms around the girl's neck, brushing dark blue hair out of the way and causing it to cascade over the both of them.

"Don't worry, Umi," Nico said with a charming grin plastered on her baby face, pressing their foreheads together. "As your biggest fan, I promise to take great care of you!" 

* * *

Ckik here. I took the issue of the lack of UmiNico content into my own hands and churned out this piece of shit. It actually turned out way different than my original draft, and I ended up doubling the word count during revision because I was just that unhappy with it. Because when it comes to rarepairs I have to be picky.

I had a lot of fun with this, though. I really hope you laughed at all my shitty jokes, but it's okay if you didn't because I'll still be laughing at them for the next month.

If you enjoyed this, I'm sorry. Just kidding. But seriously if you enjoyed this drop a comment down below and check out my other garbage. You'll be disappointed, but at least you'll have something to do for half an hour. Let me know what you'd like me to write next!


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